another quarter life crisis

 Hi blog,

I'm feeling weird tonight. I wrote a private journal entry and came up with 8 reasons why I feel weird, some of which I'll share here.

Please forgive me if I end up saying that things are weird a lot, because basically the reason I came here is because I felt weird and I realised that I have so many reasons to feel weird. Hence my calling it a quarter life crisis, because normally, things aren't this weird.

You know what's weird? I'm quite sure that nobody will read this.

Anyway, without further ado.

It's kind of weird, being 30 years old.

First of all, all of your friends are scattered among a wide variety of very different places, living vastly different lives. 

Next, we have an even stronger obligation to keep to ourselves all that has to do with personality, and we don't necessarily have an outlet for expression. In this void we have instead a new meaning of social presence, which is... basically linkedin.

Next, we are moving onwards and forwards in our life, whether we like it or not, because of the inevitability of time itself, which is weird, because regardless of what pace it is that you live your life in, we are bound to the ever-ticking metronome of time, and all that comes with it.

I've started a LinkedIn... albeit much later than I should have, and it's weird.For a number of reasons.

First of all, gone are the old days when Personality was the main attribute with which we weigh our existence as social beings. It's no longer about what you care about, it's all about what you care about in the work or professional context. Which is weird, because that in itself is arguably a front, a facade, a sectionalised portion of our 'whole'.
Unless of course it turns out that it's true that people have truly devoted a large chunk of their persona, or even all of it, to their professional and working life.

Which wouldn't be all that surprising, considering how Work is kind of a definitive point in many people's lives nowadays.

Of course, it's a little weird for me, as I haven't caved into the peer pressure of professional working life.

And it IS like a pressure cooker of peer pressure, if you ask me, because it's a real thing that happens to a lot of people, whereby they sever off what was left of a social personality, and replace it with the hollow yet non-hollow work persona, one of sharing 'company activities, celebrating having a work life and world, et cetera'.

Even worse, people get on LinkedIn way early in their work life and it becomes their whole self, leaving no room for nuance and silliness, which I find so strange because during all that time that people were transforming into working professionals, I spent on instagram and twitter (rip twitter btw), because I had nothing better to do 

note: my linkedin would've been great if I had the time, energy, effort and resources to build it into something... ...you know what ditto that for my career too. But I digress, because regardless of how much my old self would bash it, it would be madness to question the legitimacy of LinkedIn.

(even though there's still a part of me that tells me that something deeper exists within the spectrum of power and the laws of physics that LinkedIn has defied)

Anyway, it's weird to be in this transitionary phase, where people are all becoming full fledged adults, and I'm still here, being swag and gaining little achievements in the form of clout by being cool and good with words and what not. You know why it's weird? Because it's Real, but it ceases to be real once the other real world (professional working life) sets in. And boy has that other 'real world' set in.

It's as though the foundations of old life as we know it begin to erode, leaving all that used to be in ruins, while the 'professional life' era begins, and it has begun for many, for quite some time now.

I almost feel like it's time for a renaissance of sorts, like there'll be a revolution which spurs us into the next era, as though we all would have some uniting cause that would bring us back together as a people, with the fires in our souls lit and burning brightly. 

It's weird though, because that happens from time to time, it's just that recently it has been lacking.

Anyway, I know it's paradoxical in a way, and strange in another way, but I feel like this blog post has meant all that it has needed to mean for me to truly flesh out all the meaning which I had sought to express. 

Like, there's still more that I feel needs to be fleshed out in the form of blogging, but for now I'll leave it here, ending on a melancholy note about the arbitrariness of those lives we lived with passion in our heart and fire in our fingers, as users of a communal internet.

So I shall bid you farewell for now. and if nobody read this, *which i'm sure nobody will*

adios, motherlovers and party people

Also yes, you could say LinkedIn brought me to a quarter life crisis rant.

Hallelujah

Bye.